Stuff that would never happen in Zelda!
by Mr. X
Summary: I know its been done a billion times or more but hey i love to write. Plz R&R as it may suck flames are appreciated!


Author's Note: Its been done but what the hell!  
  
  
  
Kefei has just arrived at the inn and has given has made the couples mask with Anju the moon will fall in five minutes  
  
Kafei: Now we will be wed.  
  
Link grabs mask and runs away yelling over his shoulder  
  
Link: Screw you guys I want to live!  
  
  
Ruto: Aw crap Link is coming over! tell him I'm uhhh on the can!  
  
Link: is talking to King Zora  
  
King Zora: Sorry Link she's using the toilet.  
  
Link: She's always using the can when I come over.  
  
  
Link: Your so helpful Navi!  
  
  
Guard: Sure Link you can see Zelda and not go through a series of extremely stupid and easy puzzles involving you running past my Semi-blind guards.  
  
  
Link: How many more frigging temples to go!!!  
  
  
* Link is talking to skull kid in the forest.  
  
Link: You look real stupid in that mask.  
  
Skull Kid: Oh yeah well I'm gonna...  
  
Link grabs the mask off of Skull Kid's face and runs away.  
  
  
Link: Where does all my stuff go after I pick it up?  
  
Navi: We have reason to believe that there is a dimensional gateway contained in your trousers.  
  
  
Link is talking to Business scrub.  
  
Scrub: Hey you want to buy my items at inflated prices when you can get them for less next door.  
  
Link: Okey Dokey.  
  
  
Ganondorf: Link give me the Triforce!  
  
Link: Sure  
  
Ganondorf: Ummm aren't you going to put up a fight?  
  
Link: Nope  
  
Ganondorf: Not even a little one?  
  
Link: Not a chance.  
  
Ganondorf: Well you just took the wind out of my sails.  
  
  
Link is trying to escape from the Gerudo fortress. He shoots an arrow at a Gerudo and she falls unconscious. Link leaves the room and then comes back when he realizes he forgot his sword.  
  
Gerudo: Whoo I have to stop falling unconscious for no apparent reason and... hey what are you doing here!?  
  
Link: Hey shouldn't you be dead on the floor bleeding?  
  
Gerudo: Yeah I should be but the game designers wouldn't let that in the game.  
  
Link: Why those {Censored} designers!  
  
Gerudo: You see their at it again!!  
  
  
Link is in the belly of the moon. (That sounds really wrong)  
  
Link: Hey what's with the tree?  
  
Mask Child 1#: Well money was tight and that plastic tree was all we could afford so use your imagination ok.  
  
Link: What! That's the lamest thing I've ever..  
  
Mask Child 2#: Hey will you shutup were trying to romp aimlessly.  
  
Mask Child 3#: Don't tell him to shutup you piece of {Censored}   
  
Mask Child 4#: Both of you quit it!   
  
Mask Child 2 and 3#: We don't have to listen to you ya bum!  
  
Mask Child 1#: Ok that's it!  
  
All Mask children jump at each other and start fighting  
  
Link: OY!  
  
  
Link swings sword at fake wall in Fire Temple  
  
QUACK!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Quack? What the {censored}!  
  
Fiery Skull jumps out of the lava  
  
Skull: Money was tight!  
  
Jumps back in lava  
  
Link: OY!  
  
  
Link is seeing things because of the heat.  
  
Link: Uhhhhhhh hey what's that?   
  
Zelda walks up to Link  
  
Zelda: Hi Link   
  
Link: You dunn fool me yuh Deku Scrub I'm gonna kill ya  
Link swings sword at Zelda who melts into the ground and appears behind him. Link swings again but misses. Finally he hits the mirage and it explodes.  
  
Link: Ha tell me where you are now you bastards! (Oops to late for the censor)  
  
  
Zelda is totally drunk. Link walks up to her.  
  
Link: Hey Zelda!  
  
Zelda: 'Hic' oh hiya Link I was just Linking my Link to the LinkLinkLink....  
  
Link: You feeling ok Zelda?  
  
Zelda: I'm 'hic' better than ok 'hic' I'm the hero of time diddly im!  
  
Zelda: An yu know what else I " blurg"!!!  
  
Zelda barfs all over Link's boots  
  
Link: Sweet merciful crap my boots!!!!  
  
Link runs screaming like a little girl.  
  
  
Foot Note: Tell me what you think about this one. Good Bad Stupid Funny I don't care just review it damnit!  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
